Posted in Reviews and Rants, Uncategorized

Dear #Facebook, Why Are There No #LGBTQ Options in Page Categories?

For those of you unaware, I’ve got my own Facebook Page. Today I was going over to post my previous blog post up on it when Facebook decides to pop up with, “Add a category so more people can find you!”

I sighed and went over there. Generally, I hate these stupid pop ups, because those damn message numbers won’t go away until you do as the Facebook gods command. I make my way over and try to put in something else.

When I started typing, I figured, “Alright fine, I’ll put in Japan or Japanese.”

Nope. The only option available was…Japanese restaurant. Nanidafuq? I was very confused, but figured whatever, I’ll just put my own category in. On most other websites, you can customize your category, kind of like creating your own tags and categories on blogs and vlogs.

NOPE, not allowed. “Only specific categories can be used!” It says, taunting me.

I gave up, and then I figured, “Well that’s a little racist, but whatever, I’ll just type in LGBT or LGBTQ and be done with it.”

NOPE, not allowed.

“You have got to be kidding me.” I said and quickly typed in “Facebook List of Page Categories” into Google.

As it turns out, LGBTQ isn’t in there AT ALL. It’s not even listed under the “Causes” section.

I was flabbergasted. Surely it had to be under something? I scrolled down. Generally speaking, LGBTQ gets lumped in under “community” or “causes” on most websites. Under community organizations I found the goddamned armed forces, but not LGBTQ.

And how is a COUNTRY CLUB a community organization?!

I could believe it. I searched for gay, lesbian, trans, bi, ANYTHING in the umbrella. Gay Bar was literally the only option I could find. At this point in the game, I got a bit pissed off.

It almost seems deliberate. Let’s think about this for a second, this is a company that has been called out for not doing enough to protect people from fake news, neo-nazis, and etc. And then I come to find out that there are literally NO options for LGBTQ spaces in the page options?

You might be going like, “What’s the big deal?” Well the big deal is that without that option, search engines won’t bring people to those pages. If you search for “LGBTQ resources in New York” you won’t get any links for the Facebook Groups unless it’s in the title. Searches means money, searches means awareness, and in some cases it means finding the right resources if a teen kid kicked out of our house by homophobic parents.

I think I got really pissed off when I reached the “website” section, which is under “Other.” It lists “E-commerce,” like for real?! And above that is “Vitamins/Supplements” but screw that huge population that needs all the support it can get for visibility and help.

And under “Cause” there is literally NOTHING.

And I might not have even been this pissed off if I didn’t know that Facebook has it’s own Facebook LGBTQ Page! That is some bullshit. Why does this company get to profit off of LGBTQ people, but then turn around and erase it from its search options?

I’m not even accepting, “Well, it must just be an oversight.” I don’t believe it for a second. This lack of LGBTQ in categories feels deliberate. I cannot be the first person to have noticed and brought it up.

And maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t have been so mad if I could’ve just put my own category in, but I wasn’t allowed. Only Facebook approved categories allowed, because screw you that’s why.

This needs to change, and there does also need to be better categories for people on an international level. There are other countries, languages, and cultures that deserve to have their communities represented and found. The fact you only get restaurant options for diversity is appalling and disgusting.

Fix this issue!

Advertisements
Posted in Uncategorized

Bar Gold Finger Updates: Ogawa’s Message, Community Reactions, and the Cost of Transphobia

When pillars of a community screw up so royally they get featured on PinkNews, we kind of expect a message to come from them directly at some point. Chiga Ogawa finally gave us her message about “the events” that took place on that fateful night when Elin McCready was turned away for “not being feminine enough” to gain entry.

Anyways, Chiga Ogawa’s statement came out. It’s…a good start, but it’s not the best response to give in this kind of situation. You can follow the link for the PDF if you like.

Chiga Ogawa’s Notice In Japanese
Chiga Ogawa’s Notice in English

Now, here’s the thing: This apology lacks the impact it wants, because before this Chiga Ogawa talked to Shingetsu News about the events that took place. To be sort-of fair, Chiga Ogawa wasn’t quoted directly (which is some BAD journalism, but that’s a whole other nickpick). Instead her words were paraphrased all to hell, so what she exactly said is lost in this muddled interpretation of what she said, which doesn’t make her look very good in relation to this apology. Chiga Ogawa’s section in the report says:

In her exclusive interview, Ogawa explained that Bar Gold Finger does not have a policy of excluding transgender people. Six nights a week all members of the LGBT community are welcome to patronize the bar, and they have transgender customers.

Moreover, Bar Gold Finger has held specifically transgender-themed events, even in earlier times when the acceptance of LGBT people was not as wide as it is today. Ogawa herself has offered various kinds of personal support to her transgender friends.

The recent notion, therefore, that she is a “TERF” simply doesn’t accord with the decades-long record of Ogawa’s personal behavior and the policies and patronage of Bar Gold Finger.

Just because you have trans events doesn’t mean that you aren’t a TERF. Having a business that allows in a certain set of customers (as in FTM and Cis-gender) means that you’re specifically excluding trans women because YOU DON’T CONSIDER THEM WOMEN. Excluding trans women is the act of a TERF, a very specific minded TERF.

Sidebar: The article tries to make it sound like Elin McCready “started this controversy” but no, she didn’t. Bar Gold Finger staff started this controversy when they decided to be exclusionary. Plus, I’m the one calling Chiga a TERF, not Elin. Just to be clear, Elin has been a ray of sunshine in butterflies. I’m the bitchy one.

Also, where the hell are these trans friends of Chiga’s? Why aren’t they being quoted? Where is the actual evidence that she’s allowing trans gender people into the bar? Pictures, videos, testimonials, hell hit up Google and look at the reviews on the bar or something.

As someone who has been in the various communities getting a shit ton of feedback about the bar from people, I can tell you that I have received a lot of really discouraging comments about other people who have been turned away from Bar Gold Finger.

Before you’re like, “Only three isn’t a ‘shiton,’ idiot!” I chose these three out of the bunch because they were the most anonymous. I don’t want to go around outing friends and community members.

Many other long and heartbreaking stories have made their way into my inbox on Facebook and Twitter. A pattern very easily developed. Trans women were consistently asked for ID, had their attire questioned/analyzed, the way they spoke mocked, consistently asked, “Are you really trans?” in Japanese, and so on. You get the idea.

But don’t worry! Chiga Ogawa has a fantastic explanation for these stories!

Ogawa indicates that McCready was not allowed entry to the Women Only event because she and her staff felt that her presence was likely to be disruptive to other patrons, and that she didn’t have an entirely feminine presence about her in dress and demeanor.

Ogawa also noted that decades of operating a bar in Nichome has taught her to be careful. Not all individuals who are born male and wearing female clothes are genuinely transgender. In her own experience she has seen cases of heterosexual men cruising Nichome in drag with the intention of picking up women, as part of their own sexual fetishes.

Ogawa accepts the principle that transgender women are women. But running a bar in Nichome encompasses practical judgments as well as ideological ones. That means not all patrons will be given a welcome. Sometimes individuals will be turned away if there’s a sense that they may disturb the other patrons. Rightly or wrongly, McCready was judged to fall into this category in the context of the long-established Women Only event.

Still, Ogawa owns up to the fact that putting the “WOMEN (cisgender) ONLY” message on the May event poster was “a big mistake” on her part. It was a ham-handed attempt to settle the controversy which only made things much worse, and didn’t truly reflect her own feelings or the bar’s policies.

The bullshit excuse was underlined and put in bold by me, not the news agency.

As I said previously in my video, using the excuse that you’re equating trans women as drag queens or cross dressers is a flimsy way to hide your transphobia. Harassment is illegal and assault is illegal, period. Also, these supposed “men dressing up as women” might be like me, a genderqueer who identifies as both, or genderfluid, or myriad of other non-binary identities.

Getting back to the transphobia of it all, if you want to educate yourself on how to fight back against arguments TERFs regularly bring up (like Chiga’s) then read “‘I’m not transphobic, but…’: A feminist case against the feminist case against trans inclusivity.” Under the section “Playing It Safe:”

We don’t pretend to know for sure, though. We don’t think that this is something that anybody knows. The question, however, is what to do in the absence of knowledge. The sentiment, “better to be safe than sorry!” often surfaces at this point: we’re pretty confident about the relative risks of violence against women from cis men and cis women respectively; trans women are an unknown quantity; so better to play safe.

But safe for whom? This is where the feminist case against inclusivity may again turn out to rest on a circular pattern of reasoning. When keeping women’s spaces for cis women only is held to be safest for cis women, or ‘females’, is the tacit assumption that trans women are not (‘really’) women, and hence not a population which feminism needs to represent? If so, it would certainly be good to have this claim out in the open, since feminist opponents of inclusivity sometimes claim either to regard trans women as women or to be ‘agnostic’ on that issue – one which, as will become clear shortly, we believe to be a fundamentally political, rather than a biological or metaphysical question.

If, on the other hand, trans women are thought of as a subset within ‘women’ – much like the group ‘white women’, for example – then this just raises the question of why some women’s safety should take precedence over that of others, especially when the risk allegedly posed to cis women by trans women seems to be purely theoretical – not supported by evidence – while the risk to trans women from cis men is beyond doubt. The World Health Organisation’s systematic review of violence motivated by perception of sexual orientation and gender identity in 2017 found that transgender people suffer from a disproportionately high prevalence of physical and sexual violence. Research suggests trans people are more likely than cis people to experience homelessness, and trans women in particular are more likely to engage in sex work – both of which make a person more likely to experience sexual violence.

Excluding trans women from women spaces can kill them, like straight up get them beaten and murdered. Holding this line for who and who doesn’t “pass” in order to get into this bar tells trans women, “We would rather you be out there in danger than safe in here with us. You make us uncomfortable, and we would rather not question our own internal transphobia tonight. Get out and stay out.”

I find it hard to believe that just after doing this interview, Chiga Ogawa has done a complete 180 on her stance. Even though her official statement says trans women will be allowed into women only night, how the hell can I trust that to be true when I’ve got all the evidence pointing to all these past events wherein trans women were kicked out? And then this interview with her giving the standard TERF reasoning for not letting MTF and trans women not into women only spaces?

Now, also like I said in my previous video, I don’t want Gold Finger cancelled. I do want to see real, tangible change occur. I have hope. Even if this apology message has come far too late, and contradicts a news article days before Ogawa’s official apology was released, I do still have some hope.

Personally, I might have felt more at ease if Elin got a name drop in this apology, even if it was just one sentence. It seems like it’s just intended to bring back business, not actually ask for forgiveness. It doesn’t help that the news agency also predominantly displayed the next June Bride event at Gold Finger. This feels more like a business decision, not a sincere attempt to bridge the troubled waters between Gold Finger and the trans community.

No doubt the #BoycottGoldfinger movement that started on Twitter made an impact. I know also that Tokyo Weekender pulled an old article titled “Bar Gold Finger Chiga Ogawa: What Nichome Means to Me” off its website (although the video with Chiga is still up on YouTube). She’s losing her place as a leader in the community, and not without good reason.

Because really, this whole thing isn’t really about her, it’s about the constant stomping on trans women and their right to exist to women only spaces.

The first comment I got on my blog was a transphobic one. I removed it, because screw you whoever you are in Hokkaido. I didn’t want my trans and genderqueer friends to see that shit if they didn’t have to be exposed to it. But I need to make a point, so I’m going to show it and another transphobic comment I got on YouTube.

Trans women are women
Trans women are women

And also, I was a member of a group on Facebook and this happened (be forewarned, a lot of anti-trans rhetoric).

All the wrong words and all the wrong mentality. This is the classic case of pretending to want to be “educated” but in fact you’re putting this “opinion” out there to cause a fight on purpose. It’s trans phobic trolling. I left this group after I called it out and got chastised and demeaned for it.

When transphobia pops up, other transphobes get in on the action. I’ve had people hitting up my Twitter threads and trying to convince me that men sneaking into bathhouses are the same as trans women. TERFs got bold in these past couple of weeks, coming all out of the woodwork to express their stance “with Gold Finger” in “protecting women.”

The consequences I care about aren’t about Gold Finger’s attendance or boycott or whatever. I know for a fact that this fight is about pushing back against TERFs and transphobes who are belligerently ignorant. They don’t want to understand, they just want to hate and hurt trans people.

The apology is out there, but it doesn’t really fix the damage done. There is trust broken and a lot of healing to do. Nichome is supposed to be the place we can go to feel safe, but the safety of trans people should be included in those priorities. I still don’t feel like it is.

Posted in LGBTQ in Japan

Transphobia in Nichome: Bar Goldfinger Is On My Shitlist

Nothing pisses me off more royally than transphobia these days. TERFs (Trans Exclusionary Radical Not-Actually Feminists) are everywhere, and in Japan they’re notorious on Twitter for bullying people for not adhering to the strictest of definitions of female – because intersex people are a myth in their minds. Since I’m the Stonewall Japan Vice President and Kanto East Block Leader, I keep an eye out for places and people that exhibit shitty behavior just in general.

In this particular case, I feel personally betrayed and hurt. Bar Goldfinger is one of the few standing lesbian bards in Nichome, Shinjuku. If you didn’t know, lesbian bars are kind of dying off, and I liked to visit for karaoke nights with friends. It was a frequent stop to bar hop on my way through on a Friday and Saturday night.

So when I heard that the owners were transphobic pieces of human trash that broke my heart.

It started with just a Facebook post on the Kanto East Block Page (name removed so I’m not outing anyone).

===============================================================

[Facebook Post: Name Redacted for Privacy Concerns]

“CW: Transphobia

This is my first time posting on Stonewall, so please let me know if my post doesn’t fit the guidelines in anyway and I’ll be happy to remove or edit it.

Just to note that this is as told to me by my friend so it’s possible that there are some slight details that have been lost. But I thought a lot of people in the community would be interested to hear about something that my friend experienced at the Bar Gold Finger Party last night.

The party takes place every 3rd Saturday and it clearly states Women Only on the website. My friend’s friend from France was performing as a DJ. The DJ wanted to bring her friend who is trans. The DJ confirmed with the venue that it would be ok to bring her friend in advance. However, when they arrived, their IDs were checked and so the trans person was not allowed to enter because their gender marker on their ID is male*. The DJ then refused to perform if her friend was not allowed to enter. And now the DJ is apparently blacklisted from Goldfinger. Apparently the trans person was told: “You don’t even look like a woman.”

I’m all about women friendly and queer friendly safe spaces. And I can understand why people might feel more comfortable in a female only/female majority space. But to me, this goes against the spirit of such ideas. It might be ok to exclude cis men from entering the party or the bar one day of the week, but what does excluding trans people achieve?”

*Note: The ID marker wasn’t male, as you will see below.

===============================================================

The friend has now posted a letter to Goldfinger via Twitter  in order to receive answers on the unfair treatment that happened that night.


Just to be clear, the marker was F, as in FEMALE, but the bouncer decided that Elin didn’t “pass” as female. That is some TERF bullshit.

When I see people posting in “defense” of this bullshit, the common arguments are, “Well, it’s a lesbian bar! Why not go to a mix bar?”

Trans women are women. That’s why. They’re not “mixed,” they are women who deserve a space to go be around other women.

“But-but some women don’t feel safe if a trans woman is there.”

Trans women never feel safe, and excluding them from safe spaces puts them in more danger. Trans women die when we don’t speak up for them and stand with them.

People will try to spin this as a, “Well, that’s just how they feel! They don’t mean any harm.” BUT IT IS HARMFUL TO SAY YOU DON’T BELIEVE TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN! It’s bullshit to try to claim you’re an activist for LGBTQIA+ rights and then turn around and pit in the face of the T in the goddamn acronym.

But don’t worry, Chiga-san doubled down on her TERF mentality and threw up this lovely sign with small print now.

Yeah you see that right, they’ve now added the fine print of Women (cisgender) ONLY, because fuck you that’s why.

A club that’s proud to exclude trans women isn’t a club I want to ever patronize, but not only that, I want every single LGBTQIA+ person visiting to know about this policy. I want my trans ladies to know that this place ain’t safe, and I want you to be safe so bad. YOU ARE VALID, and you deserve to be accepted and loved.

I ask that other LGBTQIA+ people stand with their trans sisters and don’t go to this bar. I will never be going back again, which sucks in a major way because I have so many fond memories of that damn place. It’s infuriating that the whole time it turns out the owners were so full of hate and malice towards trans people.

If you’re looking for a trans friendly event, try out this one below.

And finally, if you would like to be in a more inclusive space I do recommend checking out Vox. Vox is a new bar and dance club that promotes as an all around “all gender bar” and “any orientation ok!” It has an inclusive atmosphere, and even puts “FTM、FTX、MTF、MTX” into their event schedules.

If you have also faced discrimination at Goldfinger, please comment and share your story.


UPDATES: May 31st, 2019

Bar Goldfinger has been called out on Twitter by a ton of trans activists. Some of them have even suggested that perhaps Goldfinger should be taken out of Tokyo Rainbow Pride in the future because of its anti-trans stance.


Translation: Here is the issue. If the store (group) that has publicly stated they exclude trans women and also take part in TRP (Tokyo Rainbow Pride) which speaks on the solidarity of LGBT people and shakes the rainbow flag, it cannot but be forced to say “this is not acceptable” if they stand with transgender people. I think that’s not only me who thinks so.
Translation: For example, suppose a foreigner settles in Japan, overcomes various difficulties, and acquires their Japanese nationality. If you say to this person, “Yes, you are Japanese now, but you are originally a foreigner, and you can not be given the same rights as all other Japanese people,” it would be obvious discrimination. What GF is doing is such a vile act.
Translation: Hey TRP, Japan’s largest lesbian event bar that attends Tokyo Rainbow pride. Golfinger has declared that it should be operated as “cis-gender only” based on the current situation!
Translation from bottom Tweet and then top Tweet: [Speaking] as one of the cis-gender (assigned gender) male gays (male homosexuals). As someone who believes in LGBT Rights. This movement of exclusion of trans women can have an impact on the LGBT community and society, which will enhance transphobia. I strongly protest goldfinger. #NoGoldFinger #goldfingersince1991. At least, what role did transgender people play in gay rights (LGBT Rights)? They reestablished the foundations of what gender and sex / sexuality means to us. The most successful lesbian team should never be encouraging trans exclusion. The impact is [just] too great.

Also a good friend and trans activist, Tomato Hatakeno, wrote a very lengthy piece in Japanese about the issue. If you can read Japanese, I highly recommend it. I’ll try to see if Tomato-san will allow me to translate it into English so others can read it as well.

Bar Goldfinger has now updated their stance to, “If we find someone who doesn’t fit in this event (イベントの雰囲気にそぐわない方)we may possibly ask you to stay out.” in Japanese (shout out to my friend Luna for translating and letting me know about this new picture).

No photo description available.

Basically, it’s a shallow attempt to have their transphobic cake and eat it too, in my opinion. They got blasted on social media for being transphobic, and now they’re trying to find a “compromise” on the situation. Here’s the thing though…

IT’S STILL FUCKING TRANSPHOBIC TO KICK TRANS WOMEN OUT OF WOMEN SPACES YOU MASSIVE TWAT WAFFLES.

That is all.


UPDATE #2: I have made a vlog addressing “counterarguments”

Posted in LGBTQ in Japan

Tokyo Rainbow Pride Festa and Parade!

For the Saturday and Sunday of Golden Week, I volunteered to organize the Stonewall Japan booth. Pride events are our biggest draw in, both in terms of members as well as donations. However, I couldn’t do it all on my own. That’s where the awesome Stonewall Japan volunteers come in! We had a blast doing face paints for people, networking with other pro-LGBTQ+ organizations, and in general just talking with new people about Stonewall Japan.

For me, it involved a lot of phone calls and email responding, too. I never realized until I did this event just how much work people behind the scenes had to do. I was non-stop moving from nine in the morning until six thirty in the evening. At one point, we thought we wouldn’t have enough face paint to get through the day, so I had to run over to the DIASO and buy more. Takashita Street DAISO is crazy busy on a normal day, but with thousands of people attending the event? It took forever.

It wasn’t all work though, I had a one hour lunch break where I met up with Rebecca. We went to this place called The Taproom, which served some really awesome craft beers as well as good food. I chose the quickest thing I could think of for them to make, which was yakitori (chicken sticks).

Right after lunch was over, I was running right back to the booth to make sure volunteers managed to find their way to the booth. Unfortunately, a few people got lost, so I had to direct them as well as call people to find the picnic that was set up in Yoyogi Park.

It sounds like I’m complaining maybe, but I did enjoy it. I was just so exhausted! After having gone to Kyoto for two days, then running around Tokyo the day before, working as a volunteer on the weekend running around yet again was just hard! Don’t get me wrong though, being a part of Pride was well worth all of the stress. I liked feeling I was being a part of a good change in things socially here in Japan.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to take as many pictures because of the working things. I ended up just staying near the booth until breakdown at six thirty. Immediately after that, I got in line for the best pancakes ever! If you haven’t been to Cafe Gram, you really should. They have the fluffiest pancakes you’ll ever eat.

Rebecca and I managed to get the last order of them (see photo left). In order to get these fluffy pancakes, you have to show up at certain times in order to get the pancake reservation, and then wait another hour or so before you can eat. They only make these pancake in limited batches. We got the last order of the day, how lucky is that?!

The only downside is that you’re not allowed to share orders, so Rebecca had to buy something too. She chose the apple pancakes, which were not a bad choice at all. There were also kiwis and oranges between the pancakes, which was delightfully tangy and sweet all at once.

When we finished eating breakfast for dinner, we got also the last reservation for the Harajuku Owl Cafe!

I don’t know how we got this much luck, but it was awesome! The owls were super tame, very calm, and a joy to pet. That’s right, you can pet most of them. However, one spotted owl (bottom left in the photos) would like to bite at you rather than let you touch him. And there was a tiny angry owl you could pet, but he wasn’t pleased about it so much.

However, the larger owls were totally fine with getting picked up and petted.

When our hour was over, we had to run yet again. Stonewall Japan was doing a bar crawl that night in Nichome, and I wanted to catch up with the group just to say hello. Most of my friends intended to stay out all night, but I couldn’t do that as I had to get up early for the booth and parade prep the next day. Still, I did manage to meet some new people as well as see some old faces I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Bar Crawl.jpg

The Bar Crawl in Nichome is a lot of fun, and I really do wish I could’ve stuck around, but I was about ready to drop as it was.

The next morning, I got up early and prepped before getting on the train. I had decided months ago that I was going to do a really silly cosplay. Rainbow Brite was a staple of my childhood, and I mean a spunky girl with rainbows and magic, what’s not to like? So I got all dressed up and headed out.

Before I headed out with the Stonewall group, I made sure volunteers were set up at the booth with everything. I also took an opportunity to get some pics with various drag queens at the event as well, because hello fabulous!

Stonewall met up for a group photo around eleven so we could all walk together to the float area right after. Thankfully, a lot of people showed up to support the walk, even though it was a super hot day and the march was not a short one.

Pre-Parade

We actually waited just in the sun for a good forty five minutes before we actually started marching, it was a bit tough, but when we did start marching it was magical!

We managed to get behind a DJ float, which meant we got pumping music the whole way through! It was so amazing to see the support lining the streets. Everybody was cheering and waving, high five-ing people as they walked onward, and I swear there were way more camera people than the previous year.

The walk took a good hour long trek from Yoyogi Stadium, to Shibuya Crossing, and then back around through the Shibuya main highway area, and then we returned to Yoyogi Stadium. The police were allowing traffic to flow, so unlike in New York City and other Prides, there isn’t a standstill to let the parade go without a break, which is part of the reason for why it took that long.

We broke records yet again for both attendance in the Festa and the Parade, with over 6,000 attendees. How cool is that?! Here’s hoping these solidarity efforts will make some effective changes sometime soon. I would love for marriage equality to come to Japan before the 2020 Olympics. As it stands, I’m not sure it will happen, but at events like Tokyo Rainbow Pride, I have hope.

I’m proud of what Stonewall managed to accomplish that weekend, even though there were bumps along the way, it all managed to work out. Hopefully, next year will be even better.

After six(ish), Rebecca and I headed home to go plan out the last day of her vacation. We wanted to get one more sightseeing spot squeezed in before I saw her off to the airport. And so we chose the obvious one: Tokyo SkyTree!

Posted in YouTube Videos

I Got Interviewed! 

As you are probably all well aware, I’m very much interested in LGBTQ rights, and as such I’m a part of the drag community in Tokyo. I’ve just recently been promoted from “that girl hanging out and doing stuff backstage all the time” to official position of Production Manager. Moral of the story kids, do enough free work for your friends and you’ll get a job (volunteer work of course).

Kara, the creator of the YouTube channel “Wherever With You,” decided to come to Tokyo Closet Ball to interview people about their performances. I ended up getting interviewed as well! 

If you like it, give it a thumbs up, and go subscribe to Kara on YouTube. Her videos are fantastic! 

Posted in LGBTQ in Japan

LGBTQ Date Spaces for Valentine’s Day in Japan (Tokyo & Osaka)

Valentines Day is a day of love and some women love women, while some men love men, and then there are bi people like me who date both! For LGBTQ people in Japan, generally dating out and about isn’t met with harassment. At the same time, when it comes to a romantic special day, you might want to go to a place that openly accepts and celebrates your special love.

This list is welcome to all preferences, no limitations to boys only or girls only. I’m focusing here on mainly cafes and restaurants for sit down meals, since Valentines is supposed to be romantic and all. However, there are a few sit down bars and such in the mix as well.

Tokyo

The Shinjuku area, specifically the Nichome part of town, is the gay friendliest place to go in Tokyo. Although it’s seen as more of a clubbing area, there are a few places tucked away where you can sit down to just talk, eat and/or drink.

Cocolo Cafe is the number one recommendation. The mostly LGBTQ staff welcome everyone in to dine with a smile and sweet pop music playing in the background. “Cocolo” is a play off of the Japanese word “kokoro” (which means heart-or mind depending on context), for the restaurant warms the hearts of all who enter.

cocolo-cafe
Cocolo Cafe Front
People love the food here. There are Western-style plates along other Okinawan-style dishes. Their taco-rice is super popular, and often mentioned in reviews as their best side dish. With delicious food and a nice atmosphere, you can’t go wrong in bringing a date here.

cocolo-plate
Credit: Cocolo Cafe Menu
R Diner makes for a nice date night location as well as a great queer hangout spot. With its casual atmosphere, you can pop in for a lunch with a special someone, and then go back later that night for some drinks. They’re even selling chocolate there specifically for Valentine’s Day!

r-diner
Credit: R Diner Facebook
The diner provides good meal food too, with a bit of an American/Western fusion. The plates are rather big, with side salads and a drink all in a set. It also features some lovely specialty drinks, such as the Cointreau hot chocolate that’s to die for.

r-diner-2
Credit: Tabelog
Cafe Lavendaria  is a great little cafe that’s out from the main Nichome drag. It’s a cozy little place, and I love the tea and beer selection there. They have a large selection of books on one wall that are LGBTQ friendly, most of them in Japanese but there are a few English ones if you search for them. There are couches in the back and tables out front, but that’s not even the best part of this place.

Cafe Lavendaria.png
Interior of Lavendaria
Lavendaria has cats! They’re not advertised, and sometimes they’re a little human shy, but if you stick around the little orange fluffy kitties will come out. The only downside for Lavendaria is the food is only of the snack variety. Still, it’s a great place to go with a date to grab a drink with a date (and possibly pet a kitty).

Shinjuku isn’t the only place that welcomes LGBTQ customers. In the back streets of Harajuku there’s Irodori, another comfy style cafe like Lavendaria. It’s run in collaboration with Colorful Station, a Shibuya based community focused social group. Because of that, it’s a great place for LGBTQ events and meet ups.

irodori
Credit: TimeOut Tokyo
The cafe features some good eats, like its meat pie and melon shortcake. And of course, coffee and tea are a staple, so grab a nice hot mug to keep this lingering winter chill away. A date here will be nice and pleasant, as well as helping out a good cause!

Osaka

Out in the Kansai area, Osaka has the Do With Cafe. It features a drag show every night that its open which makes it for a fun place to eat, drink, and have a show! The cafe might be more for the person who wants something a little more excitement, and not just romance.

The menu is focused on Japanese/Asian cuisine. The meals range from soba salad to fried chicken to beef rice bowls. As for drinks, you can choose anything from a hazelnut latte to pear tea to the longest whiskey menu I’ve ever seen in my life.

Can Do Cafe.png
Do With Cafe Interior
This Sunday they’re actually doing a Valentines Day special event!  Head on over there with your special someone to have some fun.

dowithosaka
Credit: Do with Cafe Event Page
Close by is a little place called Ducks. It’s fairly new, only a couple of years old, but it’s steadily growing a following. Another kind of a hidey-hole style place, Ducks is great for a meal, or maybe just a nightcap with your special someone.

Ducks.jpeg
Credit: GuruNavi
Their food is seasonal, so the menu changes every few months to spice things up. At the moment, the chef makes meat in tomato sauce with chickpeas over rice, as well as a chocolate torte for dessert.

Other Areas

A great resource for finding other places to date in Japan is Utopia Asia. This site has many different LGBTQ friendly places available: bars, clubs, restaurants, you name it. Most of the listings are for gay men, but there are a fair share of lesbian friendly places too. Some of the information is a bit outdated, so be sure to check links and do a quick internet search about the location of the places (some I found for Osaka and Kyoto had closed down, be careful). 

Even though it’s generally safe to go to just any other Japanese restaurant, if you want to be proud and queer, these are the places to go. And also, you’ll be supporting the efforts of the owners who want to help Japan become more accepting of the LGBTQ community. Most of these restaurants and cafes support endeavors to strengthen visibility, such as sponsoring and/or participating in Rainbow Pride. Love begets love, and when is a better time for love than Valentines Day?

If you know of a great LGBTQ restaurant or neat dating spot in general, please put it in the comments! 


A very special thank you to Stonewall Japan members for helping me with recommendations. They’re the best for LGBTQ events and resources, along with just being awesome people in general.